Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
