did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
