It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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