this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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