so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
