Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
