I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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