is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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