there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
