i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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