so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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