okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
