i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
