After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Bring me that man meat
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
