You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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