omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize