You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
