Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
