On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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