He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
