hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
