5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We have started to decorate penises.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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