I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
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what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
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Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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