R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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