tell your sister to shave her snatch
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
