you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
