yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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