Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
false alarm. still invincible.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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