How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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