Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I want to be your penis for a week.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
