You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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