This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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