it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
