oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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