We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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