You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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