ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
