I'm really into asian looking animals
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
