it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
