just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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