Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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