So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
