Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm really busy with my period
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