it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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