Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it fun? or sober?
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