I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I understand Curling. That high.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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