My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
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I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.