My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*