Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...