I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He shit in the fireplace