Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.