i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
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I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.