Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How external is "for external use only"?
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I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying