areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
