Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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