how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
