Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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