Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
