Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
