Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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