The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
