I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
