we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
