Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
