apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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