some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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