u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize